Crossing The Fence – Dipali Akolkar

Dipali Akolkar
FunSmartism

Do you have a dream that is yet waiting for its chance to materialize? Does your plan always start tomorrow? Are you waiting for the ‘perfect’ time to start your action, to find help, to list out your steps, to start on once you change job, once life is less busy, once everything becomes convenient, once you find the right idea & feel less risky about going ahead or once you’ve enough money for it?

For lots of us, perfectionism is the perfect distraction and justification. It helps us avoid the real, risky step of taking action. Sometimes, perfectionism and avoidance serve as strong armor against potential embarrassment, criticism & any failure.

“I could ___ but ___”   To keeps us safe from pain. It’s all-or-nothing thinking, usually, doing nothing wins. Waiting for the perfect break in the workday or your crazy social schedule may mean that you’re waiting forever.

 This is the problem with perfection. It’s the killer of getting what you want!

Life is never perfect and the time will never be 100% right. So instead of taking those small steps right NOW, we wait. And do nothing.

The ‘perfect’ time & world most of us imagine will NEVER exist. It’s what keeps us from growing, thriving, and being who we have the potential to be. You can sit around and say “When this happens” and “If this happens”, but only you can make it happen.

Don’t wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.

This quote is for anyone who is uncertain if they can do something, you can. It doesn’t matter what your age is, what problems you face, nothing can stop you to try.

Life is about recognizing those little moments that feel perfect when they come. Those little wins & moments of contentment – when it feels like everything is going your way! Stop hunting for perfect moments, Chase them, create them and Make them happen. If dream is yours then effort also has to be yours.

Parkinson’s Law says we like to use all the available time for doing the same thing that we can do in less time otherwise.

I’m not saying it’s easy! BUT it’s entirely in your power. You are the creator of your own perfect moments.

If we think everyone else’s moments just come to them, everyone else has enough time, enough money, enough motivation or enough information, then that is wrong. The living, breathing sliver of time that you have, Is precisely yours. Be confident. Accept it.

Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

We are born with innate desires, to achieve the higher potential. We need to follow the voice inside. Sometime we feel Instead of climbing the mountain; it’s easy to abandon the idea to climb it but hold on.

In my last article “Pregnancy of a Business” we saw why women have to enter the work force to help in nation building. Let’s see how we can avoid the hindrance to cross the fence that we create in our mind.

Some of you may not have clear plans; you hesitate and don’t know where to start. I can give you a simple trick. Talk to yourself for may be 3 days or a week or 10 days and make 3 lists – What you like to do – What you don’t like to do – What you wish to become.

Go on adding points to all the 3 lists.  Don’t stop at particular number of things in list. Don’t hesitate to write something unique or odd to the lists. You can even take the help of others near you. After you feel you have written enough in those lists. Again shuffle all the lists based on most likely, more suitable, more qualified for and most unique ones and write the lists again. Do not delete any items from the list just shuffle. Now consider the top few from all the 3 lists, these are the components of your dreams. You may find what you need in order to fulfill your dreams. This will help you in structuring your dream and plans.

Desire speaks from inside of us but often it is unclear. On our first try at anything, we may fail, scrape our knees, we feel the pain of failure and face the critical moment that everyone face. Should we suppress it or find a way?

Some inspiration from Kiran Bedi ji “Real change will come when powerful women are less of an exception by practicing excellence as an attitude.

Women are architect, only those who ignore the limits, can break down barriers. Create your support systems, ladders and platforms. Your parents, pears, family and friends are all your support systems to hold on you. Retain and generate the energy to work. Never let monotony set in. live up to the trust. Don’t blur the line between personal and professional life. Stop fearing fear – it will give sense of freedom in what you do.”

Through errors we come to the truth. You cannot reach the truth without making around 40 mistakes. To go wrong in one’s own way is better than to go right in someone else’s way. Someone may give you wrong directions or misleading directions. Use your own knowledge and experience to assess the other person’s advice. Our knowledge gets updated and better over time depending on how open we are to anomaly. But you have to walk your own path and be willing to confront your errors instead of ignoring them.

As Priyanka Chopra says, “Break all the obstacle that comes in your way. Set higher standards. Be flawed and be fearless.  There is only 1 you, your values, beliefs and flaws make unique you. Let your dreams evolve. You are never too late to learn anything new. Recognize the opportunity that comes your way. We never have enough to reject the new opportunities. Be ambitious, nothing is wrong in it. Never live on anyone else’s benchmark. Fight for your dreams, do what it takes to win after the failure, take calculated risks to evolve. Surround yourself with right people, never please everyone all the time, appreciate life always and remember where you come from”

Remember Roger McDonald quote “I am master of my own destiny and I can make my life anything that I wish it to be”